Going on a first date can be kind of scary. As you get older, sometimes, it feels like you are dating again, even if you are married. Except, it may be that you are dating your friends.
Finding your people, your squad, your other mamas, can be a tedious task; making sure they have your back and that you connect.
Luckily, I have so many women in my life; the women in my family, women that have supported me from my different walks of life spanning from middle school, high school, college, work, and new women I have met that have quickly become some of my favorite people.
Well, today, something happened.
One of my dear mamas in town came over with her adorable son. Hailey was happily playing in her “sit me up” chair, observing him walking around and exploring all of the toys. She was so entertained and content.
Hailey started seizing- it was pretty intense and for a longish period of time.
Today was just a regular Thursday for me. But for her, it was not.
After spending the entire week focused on Hailey and her seizures (Monday, a MRI, Tuesday- Thursday, a 48 hour take home EEG test), I had truly become immune and numb to this type of thing.
I tried to make the moment more comfortable, because I was feeling super uncomfortable. This may have been the first encounter with a friend when Hailey really had a full-out seizure. I felt a little sad in my heart because it was a new experience that I had to navigate. I tried to make it normal, said she was fine, and quickly changed the subject.
It bothered me after the play/mom-date ended. I was compelled to send a text- I apologized and said I hope that her seizure didn’t freak you out.
Her response was that of one only a true friend and decent human would say. She wanted to help and support but didn’t know what to do in the moment. What could she do in the future?
She told me to never apologize for real life again.
I think a part of me worries that people will not want to maintain friendships because we have so much going on in our life. I worry that Hailey will not have play dates with children her own age because she will not be at the same developmental place in her life. I think that goes with some of the ‘rare mama territory’ fears.
But then, something like today happens, and a friend shows up in a way that you never knew you needed. That, made my “regular” Thursday one that I will not forget for a long time.