When it Rains…

When it rains, it sure does pour. The trifecta. It is true, bad things seem to happen in threes. The perfect storm.

It has been an overwhelming week, to say the least.

 Noah was having a rough time at school and Hailey had been sick on and off.

 To top it all off, I hit my father in law’s car in my very own driveway. No real damage; some superficial scratches, but mostly, a severely bruised ego.

The day before, I had taken Hailey to her speech and physical therapy.  I was given the opportunity to get my flu shot there (to fill you in, Hailey goes to my husband’s hospital daycare which we absolutely love and she gets her therapies there too).

I had to give her a bottle before we left, so one hand was placed on the bottle as she drank, and the other arm was occupied with a needle being injected into me.

I didn’t even flinch. I used to sense some panic before a shot, had to prepare myself, and accept it before the needle even came close to my skin. This time it was the furthest thing from my mind. It didn’t even hurt. I almost forgot I was getting a shot in my arm.

My pure angst over some of the situations in our life at the moment had caused more pain than the actual needle.

Things had been moving in such a good direction; I was at peace and in a really good spot. But, as life can be crazy, I found myself, again,  lost in my thoughts. Somehow, I ended up back in a strange headspace.

Could it be the photo memories that appeared on Facebook the day before? The ones when we went to the pumpkin patch and I had one of the hardest days in public, but had to keep it together?

Was it that we were quickly approaching a year since her diagnosis?

It was odd that milestones seem to be something I tried to avoid, yet here I was, stuck on the milestones that brought such negativity into our lives.

Was this the new norm? Some days would be amazing, positive, and hopeful, followed by ones when I get stuck in my own head and can’t seem to navigate out of it?

I know that in a few days, things will be o.k., but when you are stuck in a rut, sometimes, the only people who understand are the ones stuck there with you.

Thankfully, our support system is always there, as a soundboard, to help us through some of those moments. They help shine some clarity and brightness on our darkest days.

They are our rainbow at the end of a storm.